apologies but my whinge for the day

Today I was attacked, not physically but verbally but had the guys wife not been there I doubt I would have gotten away with less than a few bruises.

I was on a bus, it was packed to the hilts. I have difficulty standing due to an injury but I gave my seat up for a lady with a pram. After three prams boarded there was standing room only, then more passengers started to get on…sigh. I turned around to see someone pointing to a spot further down for me to go so I grabbed it.

As my butt was about to hit the much desired prize I sighed and said “I will be so glad when that train is finished”. Well all hell broke loose and didnt finish for twenty minutes and with intervention from the wife and a fellow passenger. The tram being built is controversial at best but I was simply commenting innocently on my desire to be able to travel without being jammed into a vehicle like a sardine.

I am no cupcake when it comes to standing my ground and I was not giving my seat up again. This hulk sitting next to me scared me to death, loud aggressive and huge are not good qualities to mix but past experience with a violent ex has taught me to not turn my back on someone like that or cower to their anger.

I argued my case and had him stumped for logical replies and it drew the attentions of many…my intent, as I wasnt going to be floored (by his fist) without witnesses. One young man stepped in when I offered my hand to the hulk in an attempt to agree to disagree and to be civil to each other… he looked at my hand, thought about spitting on it I am sure and said loudly “I’m not shaking your hand.” When he realised my hand was still there a few minutes later and everyone was staring at him he tried to joke I would hurt his hand…remember me referring to him as the hulk, I was not kidding the guy was/is at six and a half feet and built like a brick shitte house and I am not…excuse the words.

I tried everything to change the subject to get him to calm down but eventually bolted off the bus when it got to my spot. I could hear his wife really letting him have it as I got off the bus and him still carrying on like a pratt, but I was off the bus, phew. I walked quickly home trying not to throw up from fear. I shook for two hours. I nearly threw up and now I am too scared to go on a bus alone again, not to mention I have been awake for a few hours now unable to sleep…hence the post, sorry guys.

I am aware I have to face this fear as soon as possible but God damn it I am scared and it is not fair. I made an innocent comment and copped the hatred a person has for our local pollies. I wrote to both sides of the controversy to this train issue and let them both have it and told them to wake up to themselves and do something to calm down the hysteria they had created before someone gets hurt. I have no idea what they will take on board but I have done my best.

I know I should simply have moved away from the guy but it took me two years to get over the injuries that make it difficult for me to stand in a bus and I didnt want to risk that again. I should not have argued back but instinct told me to use the only defense I had available to me as no one else seemed to want to help on that bus. Next time I think I will simply get off at the next stop and tell the driver why as I get off… in hindsight maybe I should have done that today but pure shock at his reaction to my innocent words initially held me in my seat, fear of injury kept me there… God I was so stupid to not just get up and walk off the bus. Too late now.

Lesson learned today: do not make eye contact, do not talk to anyone, do not engage in any way what so ever, get off the bus if there is a jerk (just make sure he doesn’t follow you.. scary possibility)

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